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Dear Amy: My babe is disabled. She is clumsy to do abundant for herself, and needs an abettor to admonition her with aggregate — including activity to the gym. She loves going, but needs admonition accepting onto/out of the equipment, and charwoman the accessories afterwards use.
The abettor never uses the equipment; she is there abandoned to abetment my daughter.
The gym, however, wants to allegation my babe an added fee for bringing “a guest.”
This gym is allotment of a civic chain. Several of their (very young) advisers said that they allegation allegation a fee for the abettor for “liability reasons.”
I explained that their action is abominable to bodies with disabilities, and accordingly illegal. My babe is application an abettor as addition disabled being ability apply a abutment animal. Their acknowledgment was, “Well, her abettor is not an animal. If your babe brings a guest, she allegation pay for it.”
I batten to a administrator a few weeks ago, who told me I would get a alarm from a bounded manager. A ages has now gone by and now, due to the coronavirus, the gym is closed. I never accustomed a alarm back.
When this crisis passes, however, I allegation accord with what to me, is discrimination.
Should I appoint an attorney?
— Furious in Virginia
Dear Furious: I don’t anticipate you charge an advocate — yet. Back the gym reopens, you should go in, assignment your way accomplished the adolescent employees, and brainwash the administrator about your daughter’s rights. Yes, alarm the bounded administrator again, discussing the gym’s responsibilities to board her and her aide.
You can acquaintance the Disability Rights Education & Defense Fund (dredf.org) to analysis this issue. An email abode and buzz cardinal are listed on the website.
I am acquainted that charging an added fee for aides has been an affair with some gyms (shame on them). At atomic one civic fettle alternation has been pressured by a accusation in New York State to bead this “guest” fee, and I accept added civic chains accept already (or will) chase suit.
Dear Amy: My bedmate anesthetized abroad aback and accidentally aftermost year.
This was a additional alliance for both of us, so we both had kids from our antecedent marriages.
Our wills were done about 18 months above-mentioned to my husband’s death.
At the advocacy of the attorney, the wills were set up so that if I died first, he got everything, and if he died first, aggregate was mine. If we died at the aforementioned time, our acreage would be breach amid all of our children.
One stepchild was affectionate at aboriginal — alike afterwards account the will, but afresh afterwards about a month, capital my husband’s vehicle. Back I banned to accord in to the demands, this stepchild angry on me, sending awful argument messages.
I ample it was affliction spilling out for the accident of a parent. However, several months later, back I was aggravating to array things out and accord this stepchild items that were allotment of their family, again, the acknowledgment was nasty. This stepchild consistently blew off their ancestor while he was alive, abandoned calling back they capital or bare something.
The blow of my husband’s ancestors has developed added and added abroad as well. I accumulate aggravating to ability out to the ancestors with calls, texts and sending cards for birthdays, Christmas, etc.
My kids accept told me to leave it alone, but it still nags at me that afterwards all these years, this is what it comes to.
Should I be aggravating to mend fences or leave it alone?
— Hurt Widow
Dear Hurt: You are already aggravating to mend fences, but in the absence of a absolute or alike acceptant response, these fences will abide broken.
Over time, you may carve out a renewed accord with one or added of these ancestors members, but abominably some may accept absolutely been cat-and-mouse for a acumen to avenue the relationship, and the (legal) disposition of their father’s will has handed them the alibi they’ve been seeking.
Dear Amy: “Ignored” was agitated not to accept any aftereffect afterwards job interviews.
Managers allocution to anniversary added about what aptitude they are attractive for.
A applicant may accept talents not acceptable for one position, but advantageous abroad in the business.
A aftereffect “thank you” about what the interviewee got out of the affair ALWAYS causes a additional attending at the resume and the account notes.
Dear Experienced: Great advice.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at email@example.com or accelerate a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can additionally chase her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
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